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Monday, November 23rd, 2009
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3:17 pm - FUCK OFF and DIE
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you're an ass.
a FUCKING lying bastard.
All you do is suck up energy and attention and honesty and give back crap. You beg to be actual friends and for me not to close up. I don't do second chances, but I made an exception for you. It was rocky at first but things got better and I started talking to you again. I was trying so hard I completely missed the fact that you weren't actually talking to me. I would ask you how things were or what was going on, but apparently I didn't ask specific enough questions to deserve an answer.
You know you were wrong. You know you should have told me. You know you had plenty of opportunity.
You were on probation. This is a small thing, yes, but you hadn't earned my trust back yet. And now you never will. I don't do third chances.
I hope to god you don't fuck her over like you did me. You say you're only 'considering' dating. You fucking 'considered' dating us for three and a half months and then you didn't even have the balls to admit you didn't want to go through with it. I had to fucking ask you. Fucking chicken shit coward.
Yes, coward. The same reason you didn't tell me about your new almost girlfriend. You were afraid.
She deserves better than you. You're just gonna drag things out and then decide, 'you know after all I don't think a long distance relationship will work for me'. But you won't tell her even when you know because all you really want is the attention and until she figures it out and thinks to ask, you'll drain all the love and attention you can from her. But I can't tell her that.
On the brightside I never have to think or care about you again. I will never speak to you again. I no longer have the burden of feeling bad about hating you. You have proved yourself an ass. I'm done.
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(6 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, November 4th, 2009
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9:48 pm
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Round 2 testing:
Molecular biology: 105
Genetics 2: 96.77
Infectious processes: 95
Biochemistry: 89
Molecular Biotechnology: 87.5
Not thrilled about hte last but actually just took the third test. Hopefully there will be improvement.
Also:
GRE 1420
Verbal 630
Quantitative: 790
Not suprised about the ratio. Glad that is done. Not spectacular, but defnitely acceptable.
In round three of testing now. Started yesterday will continue for a week. Am exhausted already.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, September 9th, 2009
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12:43 pm
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you break my heart just a few days ago, but what makes you sick with anger is Cam shit.
I think that sums it up. Fuck you.
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, September 7th, 2009
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11:15 am
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Having a rough day. There will be chocolate chip pancakes and silly dancing movies... and studying, bleh.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, August 27th, 2009
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7:54 am
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Monday Wednesday Friday - class from 8:30-11:20
Tuesday and Thursday - class from 9-2:45
Hopefully some dance classes in on tuesdays and thursdays early in september
Friday nights as usual are taken
May be playing Lost everyother Saturday
My teachers decided to have all of my tests each month within the same about week long period. This means on those weeks and weekends I will be mostly unavailable.
I don't get to sleep in at all during the week *sigh* it is tiring already
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, August 3rd, 2009
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2:51 pm
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| Wednesday, July 29th, 2009
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11:57 pm
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I should update...
Life has its up points and its lows.
Don't really feel like sharing with the world at the moment.
yay sex.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Sunday, May 31st, 2009
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12:49 pm
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Thinking of Nathan. Reread a few things including the story I wrote, it is in my memories section if you are curious. Makes me think I should write more, but I need inspiration.
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, May 28th, 2009
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5:05 pm
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| Saturday, May 9th, 2009
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3:42 am
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| Thursday, May 7th, 2009
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4:08 pm
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| Tuesday, May 5th, 2009
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7:06 pm - most absurd thing ever
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6:37 pm
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Stupid female hormones. Everything is fine, nothing has changed and yet everything *feels* so much worse. My mind can come up with a thousand reasons why what I'm feeling makes sense, justifications for things to hurt that normally I wouldn't even notice. At the same time I *know* what is going on, and that in a few days I will have things back under control, but I wonder now (probably because of hte same bloody over-emotional causing hormones) if things are really better then, or if I just have a little more control of myself and can pretend better.
To their credit, my hormones do not discriminate as to what emotions they amplify. If I am doing well, I am doing real well. If I care for someone I am suddenly desperately in love and cannot refrain for confessing such. If I am nervous about something I become utterly terrified that it will happen. Usually these things end in tears, which is a small release at least (yes, I think crying is a good thing most of the time).
This month the emotion of choice is abandonment and loneliness. It is ironic how I can feel so so alone even though my pet is here, doing everything he can to help. He is wonderful at bearing through these times, and I know I am so very lucky to have him.
In a few days I will be fine. I know I get this way just about every month, and when I am lucky I catch it in time that I don't do anything stupid by acting on these feelings.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, May 2nd, 2009
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4:58 pm - beltaine
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*groans*
my gods was that ever... appropriate.
I am exhausted and happy, and so not studying like I should be, but I really really don't care. I am finally clean of all beach sand *frolic* though getting sandy was well worth it.
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, April 30th, 2009
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11:48 am
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I hope everyone gets the snapping out of their systems soon.
current mood:  confused
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, April 27th, 2009
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7:08 pm
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This weekend was fabulous. I always enjoy teaming up with kristy, and talking into the wee hours of the morning was really centering. I only hope that beltaine can match up.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Thursday, April 16th, 2009
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8:30 pm
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Friday 4/17 - study with jasmine for ochem
This weekend - make analytical cards and study, hematology quiz, study for ochem final
Monday 4/20 - analytical chem test, make hematology notecards
Tuesday - study for ochem final
Wednesday - Hematology Quiz due, ochem lab report, study for ochem lab final
Thursday - ochem lab final, study for hematology test
Monday 4/27 - last day of lectures
Tuesday - study for ochem final
Wednesday 4/29 - ochem final
Thursday - study for QBM final
Friday 5/1 - QBM final
weekend - study for analytical final
Monday 5/4 - Analytical chem final
On the good side..
Friday 5/1 - beach trip
Monday 5/4 - dinner out with pet to celebrate
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, April 2nd, 2009
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2:30 pm - zuravyn.mybrute.com
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I had a lovely time swimming today!
ps. if you want to be amused and make me more amused feel free to go to zuravyn.mybrute.com *blink*
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(comment on this)
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| Saturday, March 7th, 2009
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7:40 am
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Second round of tests are done.
QBM: Test 1: 92, Test 2:98
Analytical Chem: Test 1: 86, Test 2: 100!!!
Hematology: Test 1: 87, Test 2: 96
Oraganic: Test 1: 84, Test 2: 88 (ok not as great an improvement but it was a 25 question test, I only missed 3)
Test grades all improving, and guess what?
ITS SPRING BREAK!!!!!!
I don't know that I've ever been more excited about spring break. I have no school work that I have to do, though plenty that I want to get ahead on. I have to move out of my place and Kaoru and I will officially be living together by the end of the week. I am taking a glass sculpting class tuesday and maybe thrusday which I am totally psyched about! The best part? No stressing about classes alllllllll week!
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Sunday, February 22nd, 2009
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1:52 pm - I am -21 to being a monk!
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I Am A: Neutral Good Human Wizard (4th Level)
Ability Scores:
Strength-12
Dexterity-9
Constitution-12
Intelligence-19
Wisdom-11
Charisma-13
Alignment:
Neutral Good A neutral good character does the best that a good person can do. He is devoted to helping others. He works with kings and magistrates but does not feel beholden to them. Neutral good is the best alignment you can be because it means doing what is good without bias for or against order. However, neutral good can be a dangerous alignment because it advances mediocrity by limiting the actions of the truly capable.
Race:
Humans are the most adaptable of the common races. Short generations and a penchant for migration and conquest have made them physically diverse as well. Humans are often unorthodox in their dress, sporting unusual hairstyles, fanciful clothes, tattoos, and the like.
Class:
Wizards are arcane spellcasters who depend on intensive study to create their magic. To wizards, magic is not a talent but a difficult, rewarding art. When they are prepared for battle, wizards can use their spells to devastating effect. When caught by surprise, they are vulnerable. The wizard's strength is her spells, everything else is secondary. She learns new spells as she experiments and grows in experience, and she can also learn them from other wizards. In addition, over time a wizard learns to manipulate her spells so they go farther, work better, or are improved in some other way. A wizard can call a familiar- a small, magical, animal companion that serves her. With a high Intelligence, wizards are capable of casting very high levels of spells.
Find out What Kind of Dungeons and Dragons Character Would You Be?, courtesy of Easydamus (e-mail)
Detailed Results:
Alignment:
Lawful Good ----- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (23)
Neutral Good ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (25)
Chaotic Good ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (19)
Lawful Neutral -- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (20)
True Neutral ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (22)
Chaotic Neutral - XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (16)
Lawful Evil ----- XXXXXXXXXX (10)
Neutral Evil ---- XXXXXXXXXXXX (12)
Chaotic Evil ---- XXXXXX (6)
Law & Chaos:
Law ----- XXXXXXXXX (9)
Neutral - XXXXXXXXXXX (11)
Chaos --- XXXXX (5)
Good & Evil:
Good ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXXX (14)
Neutral - XXXXXXXXXXX (11)
Evil ---- X (1)
Race:
Human ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXX (13)
Dwarf ---- XXXXXXXX (8)
Elf ------ XXXXXXXXXX (10)
Gnome ---- XXXXXX (6)
Halfling - XXXXXXXX (8)
Half-Elf - XXXXXXXXXX (10)
Half-Orc - XXXX (4)
Class:
Barbarian - (-6)
Bard ------ (-2)
Cleric ---- (-6)
Druid ----- XX (2)
Fighter --- (0)
Monk ------ (-21)
Paladin --- (-19)
Ranger ---- XXXX (4)
Rogue ----- (-6)
Sorcerer -- XXXX (4)
Wizard ---- XXXXXXXX (8)
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(comment on this)
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gentledsoul's journal
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